My birthday is coming up next week. As another year has come and gone I can’t help but reflect on the last year of my life. It has been, well interesting. I have a lot to be grateful for, don’t get me wrong. I have way more than most and I am learning more and more how absolutely important gratitude is. I think what I am most proud of is that I have continued to work to become debt free. Knock on wood, if things continue I will have all my debt except 1 personal loan paid off at the end of this year! 4+ years of a lot of hard work, sacrifice and saving. I am very happy about that.
I have a lot I am not happy about though. I am not happy that I am still so far from so many other goals. I am not happy that I let myself lose sight of the vision, dreams and goals that I had set a few years ago. I am not happy that I let myself get really depressed and stay down for so long. I am not happy that I lost the confident person I was a couple years ago.
As I have been reading, reflecting and praying this week about all these thoughts in my head, I realized this isn’t the first time I have been in this place. This knocked down, on the ground, mud on my face place. I’ve been here before. You know what, I have made it through before too. God didn’t leave then and He won’t leave me now. The goals, dreams and vision He put in my heart and head aren’t over. Nothing is wasted. Praise God, nothing is wasted.
I’ve been knocked down, kicked and beat. I’ve tripped over my own mistakes, muddled in my own guilt. I’ve let others take advantage of me. I’ve been a winner and a loser, at the top of the world and in the darkest, scariest places where your soul can barely cry out for help. I’ve reached big goals. I’ve failed miserably more times than I’ve succeeded. I am sure I will continue to fail and fall, but I am a fighter so I will keep rising again.
“There is no strength where there is no struggle.” – Maya Angelou
I am a fighter. I am fighting for my dreams. I am fighting for a better life. I am fighting to leave a legacy. I am fighting for all the others who are too scared, too weak, too afraid or too beaten down to fight. I want to inspire them to fight again too.
Yes, I am a fighter. I may lose more matches than I win. I may get knocked down and knocked out more than makes sense but I will keep getting up. You can mock me, call me crazy, laugh at me all you want to and even knock me down yourself. I will keep training. I will keep believing that God doesn’t want me to live in mediocrity. I will continue to have faith in myself and trust in God. I am a fighter. I don’t give up so easily.
As a new year of my life starts I’m going to pull myself up and get ready to work harder, to climb harder, to fight harder. This is my life, my journey, my dreams,my climb, my fight and no one else’s. This is my new year to me resolution – to keep on getting up and fighting for as long as it takes because I am a fighter…
“Resolve says, ‘I will.’ The man says, ‘I will climb this mountain. They told me it is too high, too far, too steep, too rocky and too difficult. But it’s my mountain. I will climb it. You will soon see me waving from the top or dead on the side from trying.'” — Jim Rohn