Some parents have picked up the idea that it is their duty to say NO to as many things as possible and only give in to a child’s requests sparingly. Here are some of the reasons they might give for this behavior:
- Kids have to know who’s in charge
- Kids have to learn that life is hard, and they can’t have everything they want
- Being rejected keeps you from thinking too highly of yourself
- NO builds character
- Giving in spoils the child
- Their parents said NO all the time and that turned out okay
NO is a generational curse that it is time to break. It is time to unleash the power of YES. Some of the benefits of YES are as follows:
- Kids feel heard and affirmed
- Kids gain confidence
- Kids feel like they have some small control over their environment
- Kids feel loved
Of course, it is not possible to give in to every childhood request. But even denying a request can be done in a positive and affirming manner.
Don’t say NO to the cookie. Say YES to a treat after dinner. Don’t Say NO to Disneyland. Say YES to a fun trip when school is out and a certain amount of money is saved. Don’t say NO to staying up for another hour. Say YES to sitting with them and reading them a story to help them get to sleep.
Here are some of the other areas where the power of YES can be unleashed:
Co-sleeping
There are mixed opinions about the parenting trend known as co-sleeping. Some children have very good reasons for not wanting to sleep alone in a room by themselves. Night terrors can be a real problem at any age. There are also medical reasons that a child might need to be monitored throughout the night. The best and easiest way to do that might be to sleep in the same room.
This is a decision every parent has to make based on the health and safety of the child. If you decide it is right for your family, you need to make sure you have the right kind of family bed that makes it safe and comfortable for all concerned. There are some good reasons to say YES. Be sure not to overlook those reasons if your child should ask.
Learning an Instrument
When your child shows the least bit of interest in learning to play a musical instrument, just say YES. Don’t even think about it long enough for them to change their mind. One of the best things you can do for your child’s development is to give them the gift of music.
It is received better when they ask for it; when it is their idea. It does not always pan out as well when it feels like something being pushed on them.
All the studies indicate that children who learn music are better at almost everything else. It is good for mental and emotional development. And few things instill a sense of pride and accomplishment like learning to make music.
So even if all they want to do is bang on a drum, stock up on headache medicine. And say YES. It might take a while. But you will be very glad you did.
Play Ball!
At some point, your uncoordinated, awkward, and afraid of her own shadow child might just come up to you one day and ask if you will sign off on her playing softball at school. As with the music request, do not hesitate. Exercise the power of YES.
Playing sports is like a superpower for kids. It gives them concentrated doses of confidence, coordination, skill, strength, and cooperation. An athlete who can also play an instrument is going to have a tough time failing in life.
The power of YES is all about empowering your kids. It also empowers parents to be even more attuned than they already are to the emotional as well as physical needs of their kids.
Some children have a hard time sleeping alone and will come to you for a solution. Some will get a musical urge and will come to you. Some will need a physical outlet and will come to you. Be ready to conquer as many such situations you can with the power of YES.
This is a post by Sara Stringer